🏋🏽Stop Getting Triggered
We burn emotional calories on friction that does not actually exist.
When a board member sends a short email we assume they lost faith in us.
When a direct report misses a deadline we assume they don’t respect us.
When a peer disagrees with us in a meeting we assume it is a power play.
We create narratives where we are the victim of someone elses malice or disrespect.
But this is a path to decision fatigue and burnout.
Most people aren’t thinking about us at all. They are just fighting their own chaos.
To reclaim our mental energy we can apply a powerful mental model:
Hanlon’s Razor
“Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity or neglect”
This short exercise will help us to stop spiraling into story mode and start seeing reality clearly.
🏋🏽Exercise: The Malice Audit
1. The Trigger ⚡
Identify one recent situation where you felt frustrated, disrespected or slighted.
Example: “My co-founder didn’t reply to my urgent slack message for 6 hours.”
2. The Narrative 📖
What story did you tell yourself about their intent?
Example: “She doesn’t think my project is a priority. She is freezing me out because she thinks she knows better.”
3. The Razor 🪒
Now apply Hanlon’s Razor. Assume zero malice. List 3 boring, mundane or stupid reasons this could have happened that have nothing to do with you.
Reason 1: She was back-to-back in meetings and forgot to hit send.
Reason 2: Her notifications are turned off to do deep work.
Reason 3: She is overwhelmed by a personal issue I don’t know about.
4. The Shift 🔄
If reason 1 is true how does your response change?
Malice Response: Send a passive-aggressive reply or vent. (Destroys trust).
Razor Response: Send a quick nudge or call them directly. (Builds alignment).
When we drop the assumption of malice we stop fighting imaginary enemies.
We stay calm and we keep our emotional bandwidth for the decisions that actually matter.
Reply to this email or share in the comments:
What is one malicious narrative you can let go of today using Hanlon Razor?
1 space left: Cofounder Counselling
Learn more about 1:1 coaching
Check out my recent TedX talk