📋Notes: A real coaching session (vol. 1)
Hi!
Many of you have asked me to share notes or recordings of a real executive coaching session so you can understand what executive coaching looks like in practice.
By default - I keep all details about coaching and coachees confidential as per the International Coaching Federation code of ethics. Many of my coachees prefer to remain anonymous and not share specifics about their company or business problem.
However - a recent coachee wanted to discuss a life transition goal which is not related to a specific business problem.
With his kind permission I'm sharing some summary notes from our coaching session.
He agreed to this because he believes others could benefit from seeing his thoughts process on early retirement.
We used the GROW coaching model to provide a structure for this conversation - you can refer to the model here. You can read the summary notes of our coaching session below.
Feel free to leave any comments or questions on the post and I'll respond with information where I can.
Thanks!
Context
Early 50s c-level executive who is retiring from corporate life this summer after a very successful ~30 year career
He and his partner agreed to pursue their corporate careers until they hit a specific net worth number in line with the principles of FIRE (financial independence; retire early).
They have now achieved that net worth goal but it has uncovered a new problem to solve!
Goal of Session
“I've figured out what I'm retiring from, but now need to figure out what I'm retiring to. Help me!”
Reality Today
He is burnt out from work. He always thought he would become a CEO but realised since the pandemic that he has no desire to make the next career jump to CEO.
He is 100% certain he is ready to leave and he looks at his net worth tracker every weekend to remind himself of the promise he made to himself.
He has communicated his intentions to his board and CEO. His successor has been identified and is already onboarding very well.
All the conditions are set to leave work this summer but he is filled with anxiety about what to do next - and putting pressure on himself to have everything figured out.
It's turning what is supposed to be a celebratory event into an anxiety inducing event.
Obstacles and Options
We tried to discover the source of his anxiety. I asked him which part of the change is most unsettling for him.
His job title has become his primary identity. He is trying to imagine introducing himself in social situations without mentioning a job title. It fills him with a sense of instability.
He feels he has accumulated a lot of “deal friends” and wants to reconnect with “real friends”. He knows a lot of people will not be interested in him once he is uncoupled from his job title.
He feels a desire to unlearn the habit of always having a specific goal or metric or target to aim at - but knows this will be hard as a self confessed type A personality.
We then talked about all the things he is excited or optimistic about.
One thing he is very proud of is that he never let his hobbies outside of work lapse. He has maintained some real interests outside of work (despite neglecting some personal relationships outside of work)
He doesn't want to sit on a beach and drink cocktails. He still wants to create something or work towards something.
We used the analogy of archery which is one of his hobbies. He has a strong bow and is comfortable trying some different arrows. But most of all - he needs a new target to aim at so he can figure out which arrows are the best for him to use in this next stage of his life.
We then examined why work has been so important to his life so far.
He shared that his career has given him access to a world and lifestyle he never imagined for himself in his childhood. His career changed the trajectory of his life. His parents and extended family are very proud of him for the way he has changed their family circumstances through wealth creation.
He reframed how to think about the next thing and landed at this elegant insight:
“I want to apply the same intensity and focus that made me successful in my career but I want the outcome and identity that I focus on to not resemble corporate work at all”
What's next?
We agreed to close the session with some reflection questions for him to think through before our next session.
He asked me to act as an accountability partner so I asked him to send me an email with the answer to these questions before our next session.
Can you use this summer to fall back in love with leisure travel and decompress from your corporate career?
How will you know when you are ready to identify the next thing to pursue?
What are the things that feel like work to others but feel like play to you? (Early ideas around world cinema, playing cello, doing archery and calligraphy)
Which of these things could you apply the same work-like intensity to in order to feel fulfilled?
What would it take for you to reframe your identity and your job from “C level executive at xxx” to “top 10 calligrapher in xxx” or “globally renowned world cinema critic” or “professional cello player” or “training to become top 10 archer in xxx”
What would the perfect day in your life look like 18 months after your leave your corporate career?
Loved this one. A real struggle of identity when we realize how much purpose we were getting from our jobs.
Great problem to have, master those hobbies! 🙂